Monthly Archives: February 2020

Jeremy's Cancer Journey

Hope

I was talking to my sister a couple weeks back and she made reference to her cancer five years ago. She said that hers really hadn't been that bad especially compared to Jeremy's.  I stopped her and told her that all cancer is bad and shouldn't be minimalized. She agreed but then said that all cancer is bad but Jeremy's has been cruel. I had to agree with her. His has been very cruel. It hit hard and fast and has been relentless and destructive.  We knew from the very beginning that he was facing a formidable opponent. We are continually met with shock and dismay from people ( mostly medical) when they find out that Jeremy was just diagnosed  in September. The destruction of the type of cancer he has is shocking. But despite what it has been doing to him, Jeremy has fought hard... Fought hard to gain…

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February 18, 2020
Jeremy's Cancer Journey

February 16, 2020

Thank you everyone who has sent messages and words of condolences.  For the notes and cards that have been showing up in my mailbox. To say I feel lost is an understatement. Fighting alongside Jeremy the last five months against cancer has been hard, but walking with him in his last few hours of his life was the hardest thing I have ever had to experience…giving him permission to leave but not wanting him to go. I have always said to him throughout this whole illness that when Jesus calls his name, to not worry about me and the kids, I wanted him to listen to Him and GO. Wanting him to find peace wasn’t hard, but just knowing what that meant was extremely hard. But despite all that hard, I was given a gift in his passing. I know when he heard Jesus calling his name and I know when…

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February 18, 2020
Jeremy's Cancer Journey

Watch

There hasn't been much change with Jeremy. They are still giving him a wide spectrum of strong antibiotics to try to kill whatever infection is going on. Hopefully, tonight he will get some uninterrupted sleep. I wanted to share something that's been on my heart for the last couple days but very much so today. I've shared how I felt like God gave my heart the word Trust before Jeremy was diagnosed.  But after he was diagnosed, I felt He gave me the word Watch also. I wanted to add words to that word...like, "Watch what I can do," or "Watch how l will heal him." But I felt a catch in my spirit. No. It was only one word... Watch. There was no promise of healing in that Watch. But there was a promise.  I just didn't know what that promise was. I knew what I wanted it to be.  I've gone back to that word many times, remembering…

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February 9, 2020
Jeremy's Cancer Journey

Back in the Hospital

Same hospital, new view. This week Jeremy has been overall not feeling well and really weak. Long story short, we ended back up at the hospital yesterday morning because he has some sort of infection going on. They think it's a complication due to the procedure he had done last week but still waiting for more information. So for now he is hooked up to fluids and getting a broad spectrum of antibiotics. It looks like he'll be here over the weekend as they try to get his infection under control. I personally think he just likes being here just so he can see his IR team more. 😉 We joke that they are his IR wives because they take such good care of him and always come find him to check on him even when he's not in their care. They keep us smiling.

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February 8, 2020