I was talking to my sister a couple weeks back and she made reference to her cancer five years ago. She said that hers really hadn’t been that bad especially compared to Jeremy’s. I stopped her and told her that all cancer is bad and shouldn’t be minimalized. She agreed but then said that all cancer is bad but Jeremy’s has been cruel. I had to agree with her. His has been very cruel. It hit hard and fast and has been relentless and destructive.
We knew from the very beginning that he was facing a formidable opponent. We are continually met with shock and dismay from people ( mostly medical) when they find out that Jeremy was just diagnosed in September. The destruction of the type of cancer he has is shocking. But despite what it has been doing to him, Jeremy has fought hard… Fought hard to gain ground to be able to make more memories, to have more time with us. But his cancer did not let up for an instant and we are now in a place that Jeremy is leaving the hospital to return to our home in the care of hospice. The last couple days has been our families and closest friends trying to grapple with this reality. I’ve been trying to help our children, along with the help of my family, as they process and struggle with the fact that their Daddy is going to be leaving us soon. Our hearts are hurting. But Jeremy is at peace and he tells me, “God’s got me.” He didn’t want this, but he’s ok with it.
Thank you for all the prayers, encouraging words, gifts, acts of service, thoughts, texts, and messages that have come our way these last five months. I know I have been blessed by them, encouraged by the love of so many. I ask for prayer in the coming days and weeks, for our little family, for our kids especially, as we face this reality. Prayers for Jeremy’s family and my family. This is breaking their hearts. Prayers for our friends that are our family, because they are feeling it as intensely as we all are. Pray for comfort and peace for everyone.
And just that you know, we are still watching… With Hope.
As the deer pants [longingly] for the water brooks, So my soul pants [longingly] for You, O God. My soul (my life, my inner self) thirsts for God, for the living God. When will I come and see the face of God? My tears have been my food day and night, While they say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” These things I [vividly] remember as I pour out my soul; How I used to go along before the great crowd of people and lead them in procession to the house of God [like a choirmaster before his singers, timing the steps to the music and the chant of the song], With the voice of joy and thanksgiving, a great crowd keeping a festival. Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become restless and disturbed within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence. O my God, my soul is in despair within me [the burden more than I can bear]; Therefore I will [fervently] remember You from the land of the Jordan And the peaks of [Mount] Hermon, from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep at the [thundering] sound of Your waterfalls; All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me. Yet the Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, And in the night His song will be with me, A prayer to the God of my life. I will say to God my rock, “Why have You forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?” As a crushing of my bones [with a sword], my adversaries taunt me, While they say continually to me, “Where is your God?” Why are you in despair, O my soul? Why have you become restless and disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.Psalms 42:1-11 AMP
