It seems to be that we are waiting forever to get test results back on the Foundation One biopsy. This is the test that will see if Jeremy is a match to immunotherapy, possible clinical trials, or other meds. Unfortunately, the bone marrow biopsy from the hospital didn’t have enough to run the test and so a sample of what was taken during the endoscopy was sent in. However two days ago, we found out that wasn’t enough either. The type of cancer that he has (no tumor) didn’t allow for the doctor to take more without causing more injury. So… he went in yesterday to get blood drawn to run it that way. So we wait more.
After reading up on immunotherapy, I realized everything was saying that immunotherapy was only tried after chemo had proven ineffective. The oncologist confirmed this. Jeremy is supposed to have another scan after the next chemo round to see if the chemo is working. So we wait to see if immunotherapy or clinical trials are an option. And we wait to see if chemo is working. I don’t know how to feel about it or what to wish or pray for. I want treatment to be working for him but the doctor herself said he is going to need more than just chemo. I just keep praying for healing. I also am praying that he feels good enough to be able to do things as a family. To create good memories for the kids despite the yuck. He’s already missing Eli’s races and will miss the girls’ dance recital next week. I want to take him and the kids for a drive up to the mountains this Sunday so he can enjoy the fall colors. I’m praying that he feels well enough and has enough energy to do that. I get asked a lot how the kids are doing. They are ok. They are functioning somewhat normally. The girls are a little more clingy, wanting more reassuring hugs and snuggles and Eli is very aware if something is amiss be it Jeremy getting sick or if I’m ok. I know it’s a lot for him. But I’m trying to talk with him and the girls through it. They’ve been loving their grandparents being here and Ari told me the other day they are coming back in January. I’m not sure if they are planning that or if she has deemed it so. And she said the other day that when Daddy’s cancer is gone we are going to celebrate by going to Sonic…or Chick-fil-A. Penny has been an outside dog since the grandparents have been here and with the return of her sight came a desire to chase and eat chickens. 🤦 I’ve been weaning her off her meds slowly and we have another check in two weeks. She can definitely see (apparently enough to chase and catch chickens), but I can tell it isn’t necessarily the clearest for her. This week our old neighbor from our neighborhood passed away. At Jeremy’s first chemo treatment, Jeremy pointed out a man in a wheelchair and said, “I think that’s Danny.” I had to confirm with the nurses because he had changed so much, but it was him. He was shocked to see us there. For us, it was one of those ways that God keeps showing us that He is present. Though I don’t believe God struck Jeremy with an aggressive cancer or that it was a punishment or consequence ( I probably would have believed this at one point in my life), I do believe He is working EVERYTHING for our good, for Jeremy’s good. Everything that comes to us, passes through His hands first, big or small. He allows it for a reason. A reason we may not know on this side of Eternity. So Jeremy and I believed there was a reason why we ended up in the same infusion center as someone we lived a few doors down from years ago, someone who was on the same chemo schedule as Jeremy. A someone that when we met 15 yesterday ago, was a grumpy, not happy man. Someone who we got to see transformed over the years by LOVE…by the love of Christ and the love of the church family he found. Someone who went from yelling at neighbors for walking by his yard with their dog, to a someone who sent Christmas cards to the same neighbors and enthusiastically waved to them as they drove by his house. Jeremy and I were talking about how we know that there was something in being connected with him in his last month of life. Other than him buying popcorn from Eli or sending us a Christmas card, we hardly ever saw him anymore. I believe we were reunited to love on him. We were able to see his needs, and even though we weren’t necessarily able to meet the needs in action, I was able to tell my sister what I was seeing and what he was needing and she jumped in to love on him by meeting those needs, even at 4:50 in the morning to drive him to his appointment. I also believe we were reunited during this time as a reminder that we can’t do this life alone. We aren’t supposed to do it alone. Please continue to pray for Jeremy’s ability to eat and drink. It’s still all over the place and he needs to gain strength. Thank you for all that so many of you are doing for us during this time. I’m amazed at how even people who don’t know us have reached out to love on us, to pray for Jeremy. Thank you.
Oh and a side story, while we were in the infusion center getting his blood drawn, the nurse wanted to know if he wanted any nausea medicine while we were there. I tried to convince him that he should since we were there, but he insisted he didn’t need it. The nurse laughed and said she was going to let us “discuss” it and come back in a minute. When she came back, he again refused it. I made a comment that he was being ornery that day or something along those lines, but gave in and he didn’t get the meds. As we left and walked down the hall, I noticed he was sauntering, well as much as he can in his condition. He had a huge grin on his face and in his eyes. He was proud he had won… and gleefully admitted it. 😆 I liked seeing that.